today i am 25

Woooooooowwww. When did 25 happen? Where did the other 24 years go? If you would have asked me at 17 where I would be at 25, I would probably have said, “mother of twins – maybe triplets.” But if you would have asked me at 23 where I would be at 25, I would have laughed and said something like, “idk same place as I am now. can you pass me a bagel bite?”

I do still love a good bagel bite. But this past year has been full of change and abundance and joy – it’s hard to catch my breath and realize the extent of everything I have to be grateful for. If we don’t catch our breath, though, we might miss it. We might miss being used by God to love and be loved in the exact place that He would have us right now.

I think I missed it for a lot of years. I can’t say I was always intentional in being grateful for and present in those seasons. This year, though, I’ll be praying I don’t miss it. I may not be able to control the moments big and small, but my heart posture is something I can control. For sure.

So I looked back at the years of my life I could actually pinpoint a handful of memories and emotions, and I summed up every one of those years in one word. I won’t give an explanation right now. But I hope you’ll let each word simmer, let your mind wander on what that might have looked like at that age, and then maybe be inspire to do this for your own life.

10- innocent
11- confident
12- confused
13- aware
14- blind
15- fearful
16- tired
17- overwhelmed
18- independent
19- numb
20- adventure
21- seeking
22- challenge
23- growth 
24- change

Some of those words are more positive than others. Some years held more pain than others. And some years were truly life-changing. This list bothers me, though, because I feel like too many of those words were chosen for me by my own fear and uncertainty.

This year, I am choosing a word beforehand.

25- Content

In the New Testament, Paul writes to the church in Philippi about how he has learned to be content in all things. In chapter 4 he says, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

I am praying for my people to teach me and remind me of this word, as well as BIG strength from the Holy Spirit to cultivate this in my heart.

So 25, whatever it is you hold on the horizon, I am ready and I will choose to be content.