Sometimes I feel heavy when I think about sharing the gospel. Not because I’ve forgotten the goodness of God or don’t want others to know how sweet it all is. Rather, it’s the opposite. I know how great He is. And I know how … not so great I can be. So when I think about the word “witness” and all it encompasses, I feel inadequate. Because I mess up a ton. I fall short and blow up and turn away from moments and people I shouldn’t every day. But the thing is, He is always there when my heart returns to Him. His arms are always open and He never says, “I told you so.”
So this year, I’m praying I can live in a way that says, “This is not about me. It’s about the One who’s still there when I let you down. The One who is still there when I let my fears and anxieties control my actions. The One who wants to extend the same grave and love and compassion to you.” I think living out a vulnerable and unshakable witness is how we really share the Kingdom of God. In reflecting on my own weaknesses, this means more peace, laughter, surrender, and conviction. It means saying “yes” more. And it means truly being confident in the Lord and His work.
In my quiet time this morning, I read Luke 13. Verses 20-21 helped to lift that heaviness I mentioned earlier. “And again (Jesus) said, “To what shall I compare the kingdom of God? It is like leaven that a woman took and hid in three measures of flour, until it was all leavened.” I’ve seen bread rise before. For someone who doesn’t spend much time in the kitchen, it’s exciting and amazing. And after it’s mixed and stretched and filled with yeast, it just expands on its own. With the right ingredients, the bread will rise. And hey, with the right ingredients, the Kingdom will grow. And for some reason I will never understand, because of a love I cannot even fathom, God wants to use me to do it.
The influence of His Kingdom is great. The work is His. This year, I’m trusting Him to work “good enough and more” in and through me. Remember that time God wasn’t faithful? Me neither.